Listening To Our Herd

How my horses lead me in my work…

Last week and also this week, I am leading a retreat for a local First Nations community that approached me to do some retreats with them.

The day before my first retreat with them, I went to my herd to get guidance on how to hold this space.

Over the last 10 years, I have found my confidence in holding the space of this work, trusting it and letting it build to a space of knowing this is what I am meant to do and knowing I can.

And I still feel the pressure and vulnerability especially with a group that would be coming with some topics that might feel a bit heavier.

One of my geldings, Jack stood out from the herd giving me a message... I don’t need to do anything but hold the space and trust it.

So I took that message with me into the retreat, with no agenda, but knowing that the herd would guide me into the intentions and themes for each day.

And they did.

Standing in the field with my co-facilitator on day 2, we went to the herd to show us what we needed to guide the group through.

They showed us vulnerability and the space of holding it, so we spoke about how we tend to our own vulnerabilities and create space for it.

The herd then mirrored that space with the group, giving the women exactly what they needed. As holders of their communities, they rarely gave space to themselves to be with what they were holding. The horses gave that to them.

An elder on her last day approached me and said after years of tending a broken heart at the loss of her husband 19 years earlier, her heart felt whole. She said to me, Today was the first day I prayed for myself and I asked for something that I could myself receive.

We can’t forget ourselves in what we do, and even though at times, I could feel that nagging space of questioning of have I done enough for this group? Did I structure it enough? Maybe I should have done it whatever way I thought? Years of straying from the norm of how I do things made it so I still question how I facilitate it.

But I listen to my herd because I believe that we need to follow their lead, not our version of what we think they do.  I bring people out the herd and let them show what the group or individual needs to hold for themselves. I don’t dictate things. I don’t choose horses for people. I let the herd guide me.

It is such a powerful space of co-leading and if we allow it, the horses will lead us this way.

Trust your herd. Trust the space you hold for others and lean into that wisdom.

Wherever that needed to land with you today...

Love your mentor and guide,

Hillary